Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

There are so many things that happen in life to distract us. Often they are small insignificant things when you look at them in the “big picture.”  Maybe it’s a snowstorm that delays your return home on a day you’re not feeling well. It could be an injury, or maybe you burnt the turkey for thanksgiving. Whatever it is, it’s not worth crying over. There’s a reason the phrase “don’t cry over spilled milk” exists. 

When we realize that the small stuff isn’t worth sweating over, we can focus on the positive in life, the big picture. What is your big picture?  For me it is family.  I’m talking about the joy that comes from having a family and knowing that I can spend eternity with them. 

Too often in today’s society, rather than taking the time to fix something that might be broke, we throw it away for something new.  That mentality has trickled into family. There are too many divorces. I admit, I have been a part of those numbers. It wasn’t my choice ultimately but I could have fought harder to save my marriage.  Luckily God provides a second chance for us and I met an amazing woman who means the world to me.

I bring up the fault in today’s society to point out that all too often those problems in a marriage are the result of “small things” that have escalated to “big things”.  My wife and I used to quarrel about something as simple as our definition of “choice.”  To clarify, I loathe green beans. The taste, texture, and smell disgust me.  She says it is my choice to not like green beans.  I do admit that I probably over-exaggerate my dislike of green beans, but that ultimately my dislike for green beans isn’t a choice, its nature.   Early in our marriage we let little things like that cause fights.  WHAT??? So silly and stupid.  As we’ve matured (I’d like to think I’ve matured), we’ve realized that those little things make us different and ultimately help us work well together. Realizing that simple fact, we have been able to solidify our relationship even more.

One thing I must caution when thinking about the little things is that we can’t just ignore the little things.  God teaches that we learn “precept upon precept.”  We take each little problem, we improve it, and ultimately are better people as a result. Dwelling on failures just depresses you.

Example here. A few months ago I had ACL Reconstructive surgery.  The pain has subsided overall but it still nags consistently in almost everything I do.  Today for the first time I was able to go down the stairs without too much of an issue.  It was something that I had been working on little by little. Step by step (literally).  It didn’t it didn’t happen overnight. It hurt, it was slow, yet ultimately as I accomplished it. A feeling of success and joy came to me. 

Back to my first example of burning turkey, maybe you burned it for thanksgiving but come Christmas you can redeem yourself. Maybe next year if you don’t have dinner plans on thanksgiving. There’s always a way to bring joy and accomplishment in your life.  Don’t let the little things get you down. Rise above, it makes all the difference in your happiness!

Don't You Dare Look Back

Its been a little bit since I last posted. Not that I haven’t written but I haven’t completed anything. I’ve been writing during my lunch break and a new topic arises but I can’t seem to finish before the break ends and don’t feel the motivation to finish the topic I was writing at a later point. For that I apologize. 

Today’s topic comes from another song. Music touches my soul more than I’d like to admit. It makes me realize how important it is to let the right kind of music enter my world.  The song this time teaching me is  “Shut Up and Dance.” The specific phrase from that song “don’t you dare look back” is what taught me this time. It got me to thinking, too often in life we spend looking back. How healthy is it to spend your time in the past? 

Whether you are focused on good times or bad times looking back can hurt.  There are many joyous moments, and as unfortunate as it is, just as many challenging moments in life. The obvious observation is that when someone focuses on the bad times, hope is lost.  Who wants to live a life without hope? In researching the definition of hope I found several answers. 

•             To feel that something desired may happen
•             The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. 

When you look at these definitions, it shows a desire for something good to happen. Without hope, motivation is lacking. Without motivation, there is no action. No action and I’ve found you enter depression.  Having gone through years of clinical depression I do not wish that on anyone. Simply think about what you are spending your time “looking back” at.

On the flip side of that, you might be looking back at a positive moment in life. This is something that I know all to well. One of my passions (photography) is focused on just this, looking back at the good moments.  Spend too much time here and you may get yourself in a similar place. This time despair, thinking that you can’t recreate the moment you had once. This is equally as troublesome.

 
One thing I’ve learned is that it is best to live in the moment. Admittedly that is much more difficult to do than it is to say.  Besides avoiding too much time looking back what other advice does everyone have to live in the moment?

“It’s More Than A Feeling”

The other day the song “hooked on a feeling” got stuck in my head.  There have been times when a random song pops in my head. One I haven’t heard for a long while. Sometimes in those moments I don’t remember more than a specific phrase sticks in my mind and cannot remember the rest of the song.  When this happens, I’ve learned to think about the phrase that sticks in my mind and learned that usually there is a lesson for me to be learned. 

The song stuck in my head was “hooked on a feeling” by Joel Gustafsson but the song the words that came to mind were “It’s more than a feeling” (a song by Boston).  A little insight into my crazy mind. LOL. There are a few things that come to mind with that phrase.  First off is my faith and recent announcements. Secondly it’s the feelings I’ve been having. Let’s look at those. I hope that the insight helps someone.

                It’s more than a feeling with regards to my faith comes after years of practice. I was once told that the best way to increase faith is to sacrifice something. I’ve been doing that little by little over the past several years and thru life experiences know that God directs his church here thru living prophets and apostles. This is where the phrase “more than a feeling” really hits home, it IS more than a feeling for me. I KNOW HE LIVES! I KNOW that the LDS Church is HIS established church on earth in this dispensation.   

What saddens me is all of the controversy associated with a recent announcement by these prophets about (read more about it here).  In simple terms, you either believe or you don’t that Christ’s church has once again been established on Earth today, that his power and authority exists or you don’t.  If they do exist, and his prophets are guided by Him, then this announcement comes from him and there is no reason to doubt.  Too many people are using this as an excuse to distance themselves from a lifestyle that isn’t always easy. Giving 10% of your earnings plus a generous fast offering, living the word of wisdom, serving others and sacrificing your time for His cause, among other things can all be difficult to do.  Making an excuse to say His church is led by men and not Him undermines your entire faith. 

Everyone has the right to make their own decisions about life and how to live it. I respect your decisions. Questioning your faith helps in many ways. I recommend asking the tough questions. However, there is a time and place to express those questions. Social media is not the place to do that.  It is just part of Satan’s plan to try and coerce others into falling away.  Take your time to discuss your questions and concerns with our Heavenly Father. He will answer you. Give Him time.  Ponder the topic, have an intelligent discussion with some friends about it privately.

As for me, I know what I know, believe what I believe, and trust in Him to guide me. I’m here to talk to if you need someone and know that I love and care for you regardless of your beliefs.

                “More than a feeling” also hit me in another way.  For anyone that was unaware I recently had ACL reconstructive surgery to fix the ACL tear I had playing soccer a few months ago. The pain has been consistent, nagging, annoying. I’ve been “Feeling” it all day, all night. Sleep has found a void in my life. My positive attitude feels to have left me a bit and I have felt too much. It’s taken a toll on me. 

More than a feeling helped me remember that this is a reminder to me of what others around my might be experiencing.  My depression has creeped back in, not full force but it is there lingering waiting for a place to enter my life. It’s more than a feeling.  I once experienced about 3 years of debilitating depression. This is one of the things I feel led to my divorce.  Thinking back, I realize one of the things I had in common was a consistent regiment of ibuprofen (at that time it was to combat the pain of a broken bone in my ankle and my consistently pushing myself athletically). Maybe these feelings are more than a feeling but something physical.

I don’t know where I read or how accurate it is but somewhere I read that pain meds don’t only treat and minimize pain but they also minimize happiness, feelings in general.  Now that I am aware of this, I can work to help combat the impacts of it in my life. I must always remember the good I have. Great family, great support, a heavenly father that loves me, and so much more.

Lastly, “It’s more than a feeling” my love for my wife and kids.  Yes, love is a strong feeling. As with any marriage, there is the honeymoon stage that a couple goes thru and then the multiple stages beyond that so many people just give up on their partner. My love for my family is more than a feeling. It’s reality. It’s something that can’t change, they are my everything.

If this doesn’t make sense, it’s because I’m sleep deprived and have been for over a month.  Sleep comes in short bouts of 1-2 hrs at a time. Just trying to do something that helps me focus my mind and hopefully get me out of the funk I’ve felt. Ask those closest to me and they can likely tell you that some of that positivity that I used to have has left and I need to get it back. This is my first step to get it back. I plan to keep sharing with you more frequently and some of them may even be coherent. Thanks for reading this far. Please share thoughts and anything you’d like to hear about. Having a topic to write on helps. Thanks!