Give Yourself a Little Credit!

One thing I’ve noticed lately is that I don’t always give myself enough credit for who I am or what I do. Each one of us does so many different things that make us unique. More often than not, these things are great things…….yet we don’t give ourselves credit for them. There is absolutely no reason for me denying myself credit for something well done. Actually, it does more harm than you would expect.            

Before we get into the harm and ways to give yourself credit, I wanted to share an example from a book I’ve been reading (Art and Fear). I thought this little story sums up nicely how most everyone feels.

Consider the story of a young student – well, David Bayles, to be exact – who began piano studies with a Master.  After a few months’ practice, David lamented to his teacher, “But I can hear the music so much better in my head than I can get out of my fingers.”  

             To which the Master replied, “What makes you think that ever changes?”

I believe the reason why I don’t give myself enough credit is due to the fact that I feel that I could have done better; that things didn’t work out as planned. “What makes you think that ever changes?”

For me, it’s partly my drive to be perfect that kills me. My misuse of the term “perfect” really hurts me. Our brain hears everything we say as it really means. Subconsciously it doesn’t interpret the sarcasm or intent behind the words. Perfect by definition is “entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings” or “excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement.” There has only ever been one perfect person, Jesus Christ. I know that in this life we are to follow his example. Yet we know that we won’t reach perfection in this life. So why then do we hold ourselves to such high standards?

I believe that much of the depression that plagues our society is because of the deceptive expectations set vs. reality. One’s perception is one’s reality. Changing your perception (for good or bad) doesn’t happen overnight. I sure wish it did.  Positively changing it takes work, dedication, and consistency.  Think of it like a diet or exercise, one day a week won’t yield the results you want. It takes a daily focus.  

So, what can we do to keep ourselves motivated to move forward rather than beat ourselves up? Lots of little things.  Let’s get into those things.

First, we need to define the goal. Rather than being “perfect” we should be striving to be better than we were yesterday; continually staying on the straight and narrow path that will one day  lead us to exaltation.

Second, we must remember that we all fall. In the movie Batman Begins it is summed up very well when Alfred says to Bruce Wayne “Took quite a fall, didn’t we, Master Bruce?” followed by Bruce’s dad asking “And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” I love how it wasn’t just a fall but rather quite the fall.  Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no matter what the setback we can learn our lessons, get up, be better moving forward, and be happy.

Third, measure the small successes.  Take a moment to look at what you’ve accomplished. Be proud of what you’ve done. For example…yesterday I had a goal to have my blog post done first thing in the morning. That didn’t happen. Rather than focus on the fact that I didn’t get it done when I wanted, I focused on the fact that I actually posted it. If I hadn’t finished it, it would have been best to focus on the fact that the blog is up and running and there to help people.

Fourth, don’t compare yourself to others (only yourself). Every person is in a different place in life and has different talents. When I started photography I looked to others for inspiration. Eventually I started to compare myself to them. It can be depressing seeing someone better than you and have yourself criticizing your own work as a result.  When I look back at my photography in the beginning stages I can see how far I have come.  Celebrate those successes!  You’ve come a long way from where you were.

Fifth and finally, be sure to take a few moments every day to give yourself praise for what you’ve done well that day. Start with naming 5 things you’ve done well and are proud of. It may be difficult at first but don’t stop until you do. You’ll find that very quickly your list is easily 10-15+ items. Be sure that you don’t let the desire to be humble affect your ability to accept your own personal praise (that’s a hard one for me that I’m working on).

I can’t claim to be the best person at putting all of these into practice. They take time and energy. I’m working on them (some are easier for me than others) but I have noticed that as they are implemented in my life, happiness abounds. Get out there and give yourself credit, YOU DESERVE IT!