Quote of the Day - June 30, 2013

“Adversity brings out our hidden potential.” — Jeff Keller

Give Yourself a Little Credit!

One thing I’ve noticed lately is that I don’t always give myself enough credit for who I am or what I do. Each one of us does so many different things that make us unique. More often than not, these things are great things…….yet we don’t give ourselves credit for them. There is absolutely no reason for me denying myself credit for something well done. Actually, it does more harm than you would expect.            

Before we get into the harm and ways to give yourself credit, I wanted to share an example from a book I’ve been reading (Art and Fear). I thought this little story sums up nicely how most everyone feels.

Consider the story of a young student – well, David Bayles, to be exact – who began piano studies with a Master.  After a few months’ practice, David lamented to his teacher, “But I can hear the music so much better in my head than I can get out of my fingers.”  

             To which the Master replied, “What makes you think that ever changes?”

I believe the reason why I don’t give myself enough credit is due to the fact that I feel that I could have done better; that things didn’t work out as planned. “What makes you think that ever changes?”

For me, it’s partly my drive to be perfect that kills me. My misuse of the term “perfect” really hurts me. Our brain hears everything we say as it really means. Subconsciously it doesn’t interpret the sarcasm or intent behind the words. Perfect by definition is “entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings” or “excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement.” There has only ever been one perfect person, Jesus Christ. I know that in this life we are to follow his example. Yet we know that we won’t reach perfection in this life. So why then do we hold ourselves to such high standards?

I believe that much of the depression that plagues our society is because of the deceptive expectations set vs. reality. One’s perception is one’s reality. Changing your perception (for good or bad) doesn’t happen overnight. I sure wish it did.  Positively changing it takes work, dedication, and consistency.  Think of it like a diet or exercise, one day a week won’t yield the results you want. It takes a daily focus.  

So, what can we do to keep ourselves motivated to move forward rather than beat ourselves up? Lots of little things.  Let’s get into those things.

First, we need to define the goal. Rather than being “perfect” we should be striving to be better than we were yesterday; continually staying on the straight and narrow path that will one day  lead us to exaltation.

Second, we must remember that we all fall. In the movie Batman Begins it is summed up very well when Alfred says to Bruce Wayne “Took quite a fall, didn’t we, Master Bruce?” followed by Bruce’s dad asking “And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” I love how it wasn’t just a fall but rather quite the fall.  Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no matter what the setback we can learn our lessons, get up, be better moving forward, and be happy.

Third, measure the small successes.  Take a moment to look at what you’ve accomplished. Be proud of what you’ve done. For example…yesterday I had a goal to have my blog post done first thing in the morning. That didn’t happen. Rather than focus on the fact that I didn’t get it done when I wanted, I focused on the fact that I actually posted it. If I hadn’t finished it, it would have been best to focus on the fact that the blog is up and running and there to help people.

Fourth, don’t compare yourself to others (only yourself). Every person is in a different place in life and has different talents. When I started photography I looked to others for inspiration. Eventually I started to compare myself to them. It can be depressing seeing someone better than you and have yourself criticizing your own work as a result.  When I look back at my photography in the beginning stages I can see how far I have come.  Celebrate those successes!  You’ve come a long way from where you were.

Fifth and finally, be sure to take a few moments every day to give yourself praise for what you’ve done well that day. Start with naming 5 things you’ve done well and are proud of. It may be difficult at first but don’t stop until you do. You’ll find that very quickly your list is easily 10-15+ items. Be sure that you don’t let the desire to be humble affect your ability to accept your own personal praise (that’s a hard one for me that I’m working on).

I can’t claim to be the best person at putting all of these into practice. They take time and energy. I’m working on them (some are easier for me than others) but I have noticed that as they are implemented in my life, happiness abounds. Get out there and give yourself credit, YOU DESERVE IT!

Quote of the Day - June 29, 2013

One of my students told me this quote while I was helping him enroll. He gave me permission to share it and I'm not sure if it was his or from someone else so I don't have the source added here as a result.

 

"A man that is not willing to invest in themselves isn't going to be much of a man."

Never Wake Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed

Yesterday morning I experienced something I wish no-one ever had to experience. Most people describe it as “waking up on the wrong side of the bed.”  For lack of a better word I was feeling “grumpy”. Rather than let that rule my day like I may have done in the past, I decided I would take actions to improve my attitude.
 

“Attitudes are a secret power working 24 hours a day, for good or bad.”

— Author Unknown

I’ve learned that it does me absolutely no good to dwell in negativity. I can choose to be unhappy….or….I can choose to be happy. Who doesn’t want to be happy? Why then do so many people choose to focus on the negative in life? I wish I had that answer. Sometimes I feel like it is human nature (the natural man) that gravitates towards negativity.

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances,

but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”

- Hugh Downs

Knowing that our attitude is what will really make us happy as well as work for our own good we should take a moment to figure out what we can do to have a good attitude versus a negative one.

I did a bit of research in scholarly journals and found two interesting thoughts. First, Kalevi Korpela noted that people in a “In comparison with low negative mood  scorers, high negative mood   scorers were significantly more often alone in their favorite places or only with passers-by.” I can attest that when you live a life alone it can put you into a negative mood. Find ways to fill your life with people. Don’t just fill it with anybody; make sure you fill it with positive people. If you spend all your time with negative people, their negative attitudes will soak into your soul and you’ll quickly find you have a negative mood.
 

The second talks about meditation and the impacts that it can have on health and negative moods. James Lane, Jon Seskevich, and Carl Peiper state that “a simple meditation technique can improve   negative mood   and perceived stress in healthy adults, which could yield long-term health benefits.”   We are so busy in life that we often don’t even take a few minutes to help ourselves out. We just let the stress, frustration, or negativity with is from moment to moment. Sometimes it’s good to take a few minutes to relax and refocus our energies into something positive.

Let’s be honest, I don’t know much about meditation. It’s something I need to take up because it’s easy to see the differences that it could make in my life. A quick search online shows many different sites with advice on how to meditate. Click here for a link that I found that gives tips for beginners or go out and find something for yourself! Other things that I’ve found help improve a rough mood is to get physical activity! Even just walking around the office for a few minutes can make all the difference. Talking to someone that means the world to you can also help! I’m sure there are other things too. I’d love to hear what you do to help overcome those grumpy mornings and salvage an otherwise difficult day.

Keep your head up. Remember how many people care for you! Take a few minutes to meditate, and find a way to spend your time with positive people that mean the most to you. Let’s share what works or what you think might help so we can all benefit from it!

Quote of the Day - June 28, 2013

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Quotes of the Day - June 27, 2013

“We are always afraid to start something that we want to make very good, true, and serious.” – Brenda Ueland

“True success is overcoming the fear of being unsuccessful.” – Paul Sweeney

“To be ambitious for wealth, and yet always expecting to be poor, to be always doubting your ability to get what you long for, is like trying to reach east by traveling west…No matter how hard you work for success, if your thought is saturated with the fear of failure, it will kill your efforts, neutralize your endeavors and make success impossible.” – Charles Baudouin

“A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning.”- Billie Jean King

Dare to Dream Big (Part 2: Take Action)

If you haven’t already read part 1 of this post I highly recommend you take the time to read it before you continue (click here to read it).

You should have your list of dreams…BIG DREAMS…written out by now.  Do you already feel inspired to start working towards your dreams?   

That is very common, spend a few minutes thinking about your goals and you suddenly want to get out and take over the world. Well…maybe it’s just wanting to reach your dreams but that inspiration is there. Why then, is it that we get that sudden inspiration yet fail to reach our dreams?

There are several reasons why we fail to reach our dreams. Remember though that you only fail if you stop trying. As Thomas Edison once said

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

I hope that everyone says, “I haven’t failed, I’m halfway there and getting closer daily!” It’s that positive attitude that can make such a difference in your life. Here’s where I really want you to be honest with yourself.  Are you really making progress?  

Lesson 1:

There was a YouTube video I saw about a year ago (I wish I could find it) that talked about how most people will get excited about a project. They thrive off of the excitement that their friends and family show for them working towards their dreams. Once that initial excitement fades (appx 30 days) and the reality shows up, they jump ship (I like to call this Dream Jumping). They find another project to invest their time and energy into.  

I’m as much a culprit of this as anyone and need to constantly remind myself of the need to stick with the project until it’s done.  Some of my dreams are lifelong dreams that I need to continually give focus to like being the best Patriarch EVER! Others are ones that if I stuck with it consistently I’d probably be done by now.

A great example in my list of dreams is being a successful author. I find that the more I write, the easier it becomes. The story flows more smoothly and I don’t have to take time to catch up with what I’ve already written. When I take a break…It slows me down and at times can discourage me knowing I’m not as far along as I want to be.  

All successful people will tell you that the way they became successful only after pushing through that initial motivation. Doing what they dreamt of long past what they wanted. They will also tell you that it was worth it to reach your dreams. Reaching a dream feels great!  

Whether you are talking about writing, diet, owning a house outright, or any other dream one thing is certain, if you are consistent you’ll reach your dream.  Consistency doesn’t mean consistently jumping from dream to dream but rather to consistently work towards that dream when others would have stopped.

“Effort only fully releases its reward

after a person refuses to quit.” — Napoleon Hill

 Lesson 2:

Having written your dreams down, have you placed them somewhere you’ll see them on a regular basis?

“A man is what he thinks about all day long.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you really want to reach your dreams you need to think about them often. Seeing them often keeps it on your mind.  In researching I found some interesting things about writing goals/dreams (to view the article this information came from click here) 

·         80% of Americans say they don’t have goals

·         16% do have goals but don’t write them down

·         Less than 4 % write them down and fewer than 1% review them on an ongoing basis

It’s no wonder that so many people fail to reach their dreams (if they even have them to begin with).

Now that it’s on your mind, what steps (or tactics) are you taking that will help you reach your goal? My goal of running a ½ marathon is a great example of this. Get a dr. to review my ankle to see what needs to be done so I can safely run. Run 3-4 times a week. Do cross training 1-2 days a week. Rest 1-2 days a week. That’s not enough though. That’s just some of the steps. I have to be specific as to when I want to run the ½ marathon. i.e. Sept 14^th. I have to be specific on the days of the week I run, and the distance.

It can almost feel overwhelming if you choose to focus on all of your dreams at once. It’s time to prioritize. Choose the most important to you. Put in a plan for you. Give a buffer zone and then fight to get it. Don’t dream jump (you’re only hurting yourself if you do). One are two dreams well organized will help you be successful.

Recap: Don’t dream jump (pick and achieve one or two goals at a time then move on), write / prioritize your dreams, review them often and remember that you can TRAVEL TO THE MOON!