Leave A Better Person

Many of you may already know the predicament I find myself currently in. It's a situation entirely foreign to me. I am unemployed. I've had 24 hours to ponder what happened. Knowing I've always been a high performer, always gone the extra mile, I had to ask, what brought me to this point? Did I let this happen? Did I change? Was it changes in policy, tools, leads, etc... that caused such a drastic change in performance? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

I quickly realized these were not the best questions to be asking myself. It does me no good. I know I kept working hard, kept going above and beyond. It's not in my nature to sit back idly. So much so that I cancelled a vacation last week to get in and get some numbers that were nearly impossible to achieve without working more than 2 days. I couldn't find child care for my son so I enjoyed the weekend with him instead (no complaints here - that kid makes me so happy)!

The questions I should've been asking (and quickly began asking) were:

What great things does God have in plan for me now? What type of job am I passionate about that I'll be able to enjoy? What blessings do I have because I was let go?

There is always a plan in life. A plan that I can't see or often even imagine, yet it is there. Our creator has a plan.  The divorce wasn't something that I planned or could have predicted yet it happened. I've learned a lot since it happened though. Things that have helped me turn my life back towards God. His timing is impeccable (plans are to write a post about his spectacular timing sometime soon - but...plans don't go as expected this post started out as something different than it ended up as).   

I have a book that is full of great questions we can ask ourselves. One question posed asks "When was the last time you did something for the first time?" In thinking about things I am passionate for I realize that whatever job I find in that field will be something of a first time for me. I look forward to it!

Leaving the office yesterday was very difficult. There wasn't the opportunity to say goodbye to anyone like I would have liked. Friends there are amazing and have made a huge difference in my life. They helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life. As I was walked out the door I noticed my boss starting to choke up. That made the exit even harder. I was able to keep my composure long enough to get to my car and home. But...once home the tears started and couldn't stop for nearly an hour.

In that moment I was reminded of the importance of people in life. My concern at that moment wasn't a fear of finding a new job, not having money to pay bills, etc... It was a purely selfish concern....one of knowing I would be missing my friends.  To all my friends I've worked with I wanted to give a thank you for all you've done for me over the past few years. Mother Teresa said

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better."

I have left a better person by knowing all of you and hope that I have been able to leave you better than how I found you! 

p.s. this post was going to be about fear and worry and how it does absolutely no good. I couldn't help but give gratitude to those who have changed my life (crap...waterworks coming again) for the better!  So again....Thank you, thank you, thank you!