Happiness is a Choice

Have you ever had a where you doubted your abilities? They can be challenging days to stay positive. I had to continually remind myself to stay positive today (and often found myself in a negative mood for a few moments). I think the worst part was actually recognizing the negativity and the impacts it had on others.

As many of you are away, my goal in life is to be a positive impact in the lives of others. I figure the first step in helping others is to be able to be positive yourself.  That's one of the reasons why I love my girlfriend...she is always reminding me to think more positively, always being that inspiration for me!

Over the past 3 weeks I've been at a new job. I spent the last 2 weeks out of town in North Carolina, training for the job. The training was more systems based and less sales training. For me, I could have learned the systems in 1 day and spent the rest of the time really learning the sales process in the industry.

Today was my first real day doing outbound cold calls to business to sell and get business. It's a rough industry to start out in but I have a good base + commission. I also have a few clients I am already working with, making things feel a little better. I've been doing sales for years and I have felt comfortable on the phone, yet for some reason today I felt like things weren't clicking....that I wasn't getting it.

It took a very conscious reminder that I can do this and that I am given a very liberal "ramp" up schedule because they understand that this business takes time. I'm just now realizing that I should have come up with some form of visual aid to remind me of my abilities.  Even if it is just writing those reminders down on a piece of paper multiple times throughout the day.

Instead of treading water for the entire day I prayed....kept praying for help....then focused on the results.  Things started to turn around in the afternoon after a break for lunch (food definitely helped...and talking to my girlfriend).

Later in the evening I held a family home evening. Ian (my boy) was not listening very well this evening (well lately in general).  A conversation about discipline ensued and how Ian needs to have more discipline while at my house. I'm sure it's been as hard on him going from mom's, dad's, and sitter's.  I think that has added to part of his struggles with discipline lately.  No excuses though....what really hurt me is that for a little bit I felt like I wasn't capable of being the dad he needed. That thought quickly dissipated though as I realized that if I didn't worry about being a better father every day then I wasn't really as good a father as I could and should be.  

When I sit back and think about it, I truly am a pretty good dad. I care, I fight for my time with him. I love him dearly and he knows it. I focus on trying to raise him with good standards and provide the best life for him. We pray, we do family home evening, we go to church, we study the scriptures, and I talk with him about the important things in life.

It's taking a few minutes to think about all the good things (even if there is room for improvement) that make one happy. Being happy makes all the difference in success. People can tell when you are happy. People love being around other happy people.

Lessons learned today

·         Pray for Help

·         Take Action

·         Find Visual Reminders

·         Write Down What You Are Good At

·         Remember Those That Love You

Other lessons I've learned since I last wrote include the importance of the Gospel in my life.  Many of you may know my background, others may not so I'll briefly share. During my childhood and early adult life I went to church always. There was a moment I questions things but quickly gained a knowledge of the gospel and served a mission (I learned a lot about the gospel and life in general while there). 1 1/2 yrs after I returned I got married in the temple and shortly after that somehow fell away from the church.  Not sure how it happened....I could make excuses but it happened.

Off and On during the next 7 years I tried to get back. I lived the standards (except going to church) Habits are hard to break (free Sundays to do what you want). Finally, after years of effort I was able to get back consistently (for well over a year now). This past week I missed church because I was in North Carolina and had no way to get there.  Even with daily scripture studies, missing church and sacrament one week took so much out of me. It was a tough week not having been able to participate in such a sacred ordinance. It felt so good to get back to church yesterday, further instilling my determination to not let life get in the way of my salvation (and the salvation of my family).

So...the lesson learned is really the importance of regular church attendance. I will never let experiences of my past happen again and I will always put God first in my life. It was a lesson I wish had been learned the easy way...but it wouldn't have meant as much to me if it had been easy. I wouldn't have known what it means to have the joy of the gospel in my life, at least not in the same way I do now. I won't sacrifice that joy again. It is too important to me. It's all about the eternities!

Basically...tonight I am just grateful and reminded that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE!!!

Relinquish Control - 8/21/2013

As promised, I am writing again. I asked my girlfriend what a good topic to be was. She said caterpillars. We shall see. Either way, there is a story and a topic that will be based loosely on a story she shared with me about caterpillars.  Tonight though is more about relinquishing control of your life. Giving it to a higher power and just enjoying the ride.

“Be willing to relinquish the life you’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for you.”

– Joseph Campbell.

This lesson is one that really hits home lately. It’s one that has brought me so much more happiness than I could have anticipated. Isn’t our goal in life to have joy?

At the end of last year/beginning of this year my divorce was anticipated to be over.  Instead it took nearly 6 more months. I was getting really frustrated at the delay. There didn’t seem to be any reason for the delay and it was preventing me from moving on with my life.

I had dated for a bit but church teachings advised not to date until divorce was final and I made the decision to stop until the divorce was final. I waited...and waited. During that time I learned a lot. Finally I was comfortable with myself, something that had been missing for quite some time. Habits were built of reading positive things daily. Overall I was happy during that time.

Yes...there were the struggles with work. I needed to move on, I felt it, I knew it, but I was not willing to relinquish control. I wanted that stability, felt I needed it. It took several months for me to really start looking for work. Only a few days before I lost my job did I really start working with my current employer to get that job. At that time I relinquished control to God (that experience taught me something too which I’ll share in a bit).

When my divorce was finally complete mid May I wasn’t sure I wanted to date. Anyone that talked to me knew I had said I was going to start dating as soon as the divorce was over. I wasn’t sure that I was ready at that point.

One fateful evening I set up an account on match.com. To say I was a bit apprehensive about it was an understatement. Dating in my 30’s was bound to be a nightmare, so I thought.  Within a week I went on my first and only first date (been dating her ever since)!

Positive reading material all taught me that I needed to relinquish control so I gave in. In fear I let myself open my heart, way quicker than I could have ever planned. One experience that helped me open up was how supportive and positive she when I lost my job. That type of thing can really show how someone handles tough situations. She passed with flying colors J Every day I find something else that I love about her. She continues to be a support and a positive influence for me. I just hope that I can return as much as I receive. All this because I relinquished control!

During our time dating we have both been out of town for several weeks. It’s been difficult but each one of those trips has taught us something important. Starting out a new relationship I would never have planned to be apart. God has a plan...we can accept it and be happy, or we can be stubborn, unhappy, and fight our future. If I had been stubborn (which I usually am) and only let life go the way I planned I would never have met the most amazing woman in the world!

Being blessed so abundantly because I let God plan my life has been spectacular. When I say to I let God plan my life, yes I have but that doesn’t mean that I’ve just sat back and done nothing. Laziness doesn’t work. It’s not part of the plan. What is needed is for you to do your best and wait for the rest!  

Plan, work hard, and be ready to accept the changes as they come your way. You’ll be happier than you could ever be by relinquishing that control and letting yourself be happy and knowing that you did what was right for you. I wish only the best for each of you. Relinquish control, give God the reigns and know that even in challenges you are better off. I leave you with a few positive quotes that remind you to relinquish control, enjoy the moment and know there is a better future for you!

“An Arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, just imagine that it’s going to launch you into something great”

“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it…This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

–Eckhart Tolle

“Don’t make the mistake of waiting for your life to be sorted before you start having a good time. Get out there and enjoy yourself. When you start fully engaging with your life right where you are, you’ll become energized, and so will your life.”

- Jackee Holder

Quote of the Day - 08/19/2013

Rather than provide a specific quote of the day today I pose a couple of questions for you to ponder. After you've thought about them, please share. I'd love to know what makes you happy and what you do to stay happy during struggles. I also know that others would love to know because I don't know everything and I know that what you say may be what changes someone else's life.

What makes you the happiest in life? 

What would do during a rough patch in your life to ensure you stayed positive and happy?

What can you do to make others happy? When was the last time you did that? 

Choose Happiness

I’ve been out of town for the past week for work training and today I realized some things that I once knew.  I’ve noticed that as time has gone on I’ve been grumpier and grumpier. There are lots of reasons why I could be grumpy. The question is though, “Should I be grumpy?”

NO, is the resounding answer. There is no reason to be grumpy. Yes, my entire left leg has been in pain. Yes, my back and body aches from the uncomfortable bed. Yes, I’ve been tired (Exhausted from lack of sleep). Yes, my body feels all bleh due to the constant fast food. But NO, that is no excuse for being grumpy. I must choose to be happy.

Happiness is a choice. It is something that defines me, especially during the good times. I think that’s why my girlfriend enjoys spending time with me. Why then, during this week have I let it get to me? I don’t know. Here are 2 quotes that I found that I wanted to remind myself of.

“There are high spots in all of our lives, and most of them come about through encouragement from someone else.” – George Adams

“You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness.” – Unknown

There are high spots and there are low spots. Those low spots can still be high spots with the right attitude. Seeing the positive impact you make in someone’s life brings a joy that is incomparable.  I must say that I am always happy in life. I’ve got such a great support system. I love those people that are constantly encouraging, inspiring, and just there for me. There is a strong desire to be there and make them happy.

This trip has been taxing. There have been too many times this trip where I have not lived up to my potential. I’ve not been as positive or uplifting to others as I could be. That changes tonight. Sometimes I just need a little push in the right direction. I thank my girlfriend for that. For loving me enough to push me in the right direction, to help me know when I’m not being as smart as I should be.

Starting today, I will be more positive. Even with me being busy I’ve decided I must start writing in my blog on a more consistent basis. I’ve written multiple posts over the past month but never finished any of them. When I go back to finish, I find that I am no longer inspired on the topic. Doesn’t matter....I need to finish them. I haven’t forgotten about the blog. I will continue and I’m going to continue to think about the positive impacts it can have on peoples lives. This is just the first of many posts.

I love all of you who read this. I hope that I can inspire others to make that choice for happiness. If you need help on any topics let me know since I’d love to have ideas on what to write about. Until then, remember that God loves you! He loves all of us, even in our struggles. We are all meant to have joy! That joy can come even in challenges. It’s time to make sure that you smile and be the person you want to be!